Thursday, April 1, 2010

LA to quit Road racing and devote remainder of career to CX racing


An undisclosed source has confirmed that Lance Armstrong will not ride this years Tour de France and instead will concentrate on preparing for the 2010 CX season in Europe. The source stated that "Lance is sick of hearing that most age group CX racers could kick his butt on the circuit, and is prepared to show them that is simply not true." It is also rumored that the Radio Shack sponsor has negotiated with German authorities and the UCI to allow Jan Ullrich to come back from retirement to lead the road racing team in Lance's absence. ASO, the organization that runs the Tour has stated that they would gladly welcome Ullrich back into the peloton as they can not bear to see Armstrong win another Tour, and have full faith that Ullrich will as always come in 2nd place anyway. Speculation as to the sponsor of the new LA CX team has been pointing towards Michelob Ultra beer, which has already been featuring Armstrong in some commercials. However, it is a well known fact that serious CX racers prefer good Belgian beer as a part of their training plan, and consider American lite beer to be detrimental to performance. As one veteran CX racer put it "If he thinks he can help his cause drinking that swill, well he doesn't know much about CX racing. He should have stuck to the Shiner Bock...at least it has some substance to it."